My Immaturity Knows No Bounds...

Had to share this story with everyone... well... everyone who reads my Blog... so for the 4 of you out there... here's a non-fictitious tale...

I went to Target today to pick up a new showerhead because..well.. the old one dripped water instead of..well... doing what it should be doing.

So I grab that and shoot up the road where there is an unending road of fast-food joints and restaurants. I wasn't in the mood to sit down anywhere as I wanted to get my showerhead installed before running my 5pm errands. Also, I knew it was going to be a short night out because I have to be at the mountain (Volunteer Ski Patroller I am) at 8am tomorrow for our pre-season refresher and practice lift-evacuation. Man I hope it's not windy... at one point tomorrow I will be sitting on a chair lift for about 45 minutes in whatever weather Mother Nature lays upon us... not fun.

I decide on the quickest fastfood drivethru in the business... Wendy's. They got a decent spicy chicken sandwich that rivals any non-fast food chicken sandwich in the industry. I drive up and there are already 3 cars in line. I take a peak inside and there is no one inside in line, so... F' it. I'm not lazy.

I park and head inside and see what looks to be the manager talking with 2 other patrons/friends in the lobby area near the register. As I walk up, he ushers his friends in front of me to place an order. So be it. Nothing wrong with that. They order two combo meals and the total comes up to something like $1.13. So be it. Nothing wrong with that either. I used to hook up my friends at Subway (yes... I was a Sandwich Artist) when I was 15, but nothing to THAT extreme.

So I take a step back while they prepare their order and I take a peak around the restaurant and the only other ppl in there are 3 younger kids (2 girls, 1 guy) dressed in their Private School getup's. Probably 16 or 17 yrs old considering they probably drove to Wendy's after school or something. Nothing else to look at in the 5 seconds I had to scan the place.

I step up and place my order, and the 2 guys didn't seem to want to get out of the way of the register. So I kinda squeeze between the portly fellas and notice a nice hint of body odor on one of them... ah.. so be it... to be 45 yrs old and smell funny.. could have been a long day at work.

So I place my order, pay, and step back to get some fresh air and a little personal space. I notice that one of the girls from the table has walked up behind one of the other guys and is waiting behind him because she thinks he's in line. She kinda takes a peak around but he doesn't see her back there and just stands in her way.

And then.... ppffffrrrtttt.

He lets one rip right in front of her, ignorant to the fact that she is standing less than a foot behind him.

I lose it. I immediately start cracking up in the middle of everyone. Tears start running down my face as I can't stop laughing and as I look behind the guy I can see tears welling up in the girls face... probably not from laughter though. I think the odor had rushed it's way right up between the two of them and permeated every square inch around her. She is not covering her face with her hand inside of her long sleeve sweater.

Now a good minute has probably gone by as I still can't stop chuckling. My order comes up before theirs does and as I step up to grab my bag the guy steps back and it forces the girl to step back as well. He hears her behind him at this point and gets this look of shock on his face with the..."Oh... I think I get the excessive laughter now," look on his face.

I walk away to grab a straw and napkins from the service counter as she places her order for a yogurt or ice cream or something like that. By the time I load up my bag I turn around and she is looking in my direction (really... looking away from the 2 guys on the other side of her) and is fighting back the laughter. I start cracking up again as I walk by her and I say, "Happy Holidays, it probably can't get any worse than that."

And I was out the door.

Beepbeep.